Hole 13 might take you(and me) a full month to complete, as well as up to a max of 39 strokes. Certain numbers are very serious, as are methods to try to correct the brain due to bad verbal practices coming into your eardrum section. You simply choose one audible at each stroke. Choosing to say more than one is failure to control the tongue, so only speak your choice out aloud. remember, your computer may have chips that send your voice to the creator of the chip, and of course, demons and angels can hear you.
You may stop at anytime of you feel instantly cured of anger,but may continue if you need more good preventative medicine for your collective-bargaining backcheck system:
1. You are sick of yellow being tied to the number ‘one’ In order to get past the Cornell Blockade of Cleavage push-ups and make it at least to 14McCarron thinking, choose your new ‘one’ to say every time you are about to think about getting to the Green:
A) Cam Newton
B) Don Majkowski
G) Valedictorian
D) Sardius
2. You are sick and tired of rubber jokes by Trojan fans. In order to prevent literal strokes due to artery blockages, say your favorite clean food before you think of getting vengeance on your former Lithium pusher:
A) California Cheese Pizza
B) Meijer’s Jalepeno Chicken Sausage
G) Extra Firm Tofu
D) Ram chops
3. You are sick and weary of not being seen as worthy of sainthood. Expel the most evil combination from your mouth in the spirit of ‘I will spue you out of my mouth’:
A) Constantine and his Penthouse View
B) Norwegians in General Anti-Moses Positions
G) The Cowardly Seal of the President of the United States
D) Jerry Jones and the NFL Pig Sausages
4. You are upset because you did not stop in time to make Eisenhower Eagle on this par 4. ( Number 2 would have been the proper hockey stop.) Choose a place that could brighten your mood better than Bud Light:
A) Milwaukee, Wisconsin
B) Duck, North Carolina
G) Sudbury, Ontario
D) Angarsk, Russia
5. You have to start hating Thomas Jefferson, not the apostle Thomas in order to get out of politics and brood of viper mentality. Remember, you are in no danger of murdering Thomas Jefferson at this time. Choose a new Thomas for your Rochester United Saints Team Yitrium(RUSTY):
A) Thomas Stigler
B) Thomas Hendricks
G) Thomas English Muffin Man-Child Agent 243
H) Thomas O’Grosky
6. You are now in the bonus situation which means trouble at Tishri 15. You must change your concept of a blow job by choosing your best athletic choice combination of words:
A) ‘If the wind blows this ball up, I think I’ll become a punter.’
B) ‘If this stroke counts, blow up an inflatable pillow for me and call Beste movers.’
G) ‘Is this the Curtis, Bell, or Blow Pop Swing I am about to take the virtual Juniper tree hole?
H) ‘ Well blow me downtown or send Olive Oil for this Noodle.’
7. You have to get used to taking a rest at 7. Your certified DARE instructor will return after a possibly long brief non-Hanes break due to chances of maroon troubles and scarlet fever checks.
Please stand by or sit in front of your enemy until I return………..
That was a non-union break.
7. You have started to realize common mottos are often wrong. Correct your verbal swing and start thinking sound defense by saying all four of the below, knowing only 1 might actually make contact with an unseen entity:
A) Seven is supposed to be clean, not Lucky in the 3 Amigos.
B) This could be a magnificent expelling of carbon dioxide rather than an intake of cigarette smoke.
G) The Danny Thomas pushers are losers, not saints for spending so much money advertising rather than increasing humility or contributing to the USA deficit reduction.
H) I rather laugh with the Lord of the Frog Leg Left at the Asian hole than die with the sinners when the plagues come.
8. You have come to an understanding that Chet and Oxygen have something in common at Asher. Prepare to be pro-sacrifice fly and choose which line you like before you again top your ball instead of make solid contact:
A) Sharks are not an acceptable sacrifice for the God of Noah. I’m going Longhorn here.
B) Worm burning this could lead to a Drew Bledsoe problem. I’ll call this a Rob Deer sacrifice no fly zone.
G) I do not want to be accused of playing with fire. Where’s 2 hydrogen balls that aren’t made of styrofoam for my green bulb party?
H) If Asher ate, he must understand this lower GI Jane Fonda crap game is really dung.
9. You have been suckered into a 666 scramble and do not know how to get excused from the wrong egg class. Try to get out of your ‘Easter’ mentality by speaking any of the following quotes:
A) ‘Brian Heck No Way am I supporting the over-fertilizing of swine food. I’ll try to loosen the soil here and go Blue Corn Chip shot!’
B) ‘ Triple 8 isn’t triple carbon taxation. Where’s the 24 elders when you need them to keep score at Gabriel vs. 91?’
G) ‘I better not hand out Tootsie pops,unlucky Charms or suckers so that I am not accused of ‘giving suck’ like a trick or treat whore. I’ll take a Zero for this candy bar stroke.’
H) ‘Tis better to abstain from sexual contact with the spiritually dead for 3.5 years than to sleep around with Tom Brady, DicK York and Harry Morgan types.’
10. You have to get past television images of what a good ‘Ten’ is due to serious problems at Bo level and PBS in the Channel 10-36 mixed media group. Rethink ten without reverting to AT&T unclean mixes of good and evil:
A) If ten Lords are leaping like frogs and rabbits, I hope one of them is like Stanley stays behind to tell me where hole 11 is.
B) Moses and Ten beats Derek and X problems.
G) An honest ten might look like Hamilton, but I rather picture Bill Cloud explaining spiritual boxing at this point.
H) This golf game could change into a good bowling green beer game at any minute or a sharp pin point Blackhawk situation.
11. You have Post cereal syndrome instead of post tribulation awareness. Resolve the 2 to 1 house conflict with logical realty comments:
A) If I had a second house, I would not be able to be master of two at the same time, and the house I am not in could be a habitation of 7 devils after I left it clean and swept.
B) Not paying property taxes on a second home allows me more money to pay my IRS taxes instead of trying to escape them like a thief in the day.
G) When a loving cup becomes a cereal bowl, you know it is a broken covenant between Jacques and Marie, not a problem with audience silence during my real golf strokes.
H) If this Wilson house squad 13 game ball goes anywhere wrong, it will be Shawano county and Russell’s fault, not Mitch and Pat.
12.YOu have made it to 12, but are really afraid that you have not considered the real flesh wounds suffered by innocent people. IN order to keep balance in the 1 and 39 zone, application of 1120 S. as in south rules need to apply. Get sober and recall any crimes you may have committed against God, and say one of the following:
A) I must return what was not paid fair price for or is not property gained by honest methods or I am in danger of not making Abaddon’s team or the 144,000.
B) I will ask someone to hit me once on the cheek using only a little strength and hope he or she has read about Elijah.
G) If I lose my temper playing games, the wrath of God upon evil doers should not need any excuse or prevention.
H) So I had a rough, sad and good day; I am thankful I am not afraid of the people who are having bad days due to continuing in their sin for some reason.
(Intermission necessary to watch films of the enemy so I can learn to resist their pathetic Greek unholy spirit squad, observe them as spiritual or mentally ill while studying their MO’s, and try to pick a pearl for my next spiritual warfare 77&7 team)
This does not represent truth, but is more like a post lake effect snow ball because I don’t have a picture of a Srixon.
13. You are fuzzy on the whole winner/loser thing. Choose a good reason to endure this test until the end:
A) Those who try to win in man’s court system usually lose in spiritual battles.
B) 39 may solve the Y problem better than only taking a customary max of ten during friendly gold games where fast play matters.
G) In order to win, you must be prepared to lose everything like Job and hope there is some sort of God that restores what you lost, including golf balls if necessary.
H) This is a fight against Attention deficit disorder, not a costly event sponsored by pagans and heathens.
14. Not all giants are bad, including such species as squids and Giant bread, although the giant squid is not ‘good’ according to food laws. Learn to be focused on the proper giant friends you may have by calling this your audible on your Dayne Badger Giant green striped ball shot:
A) Creme de menthe and club car glass non-house shot
B) Bean Ne Baby Dodge Car Striped Ball Joint Czech shot
G) Rusty but Friendly Giant Children’s Pitch and Slime shot
H) Giant Eagle attempt at destroying Goliath on your First Student Shot
15. This is not the Love Connection to Serena 18 Tennis stroke, but a very swift current attempt to gain popularity in the head coach hunting ground zero level. For you favorite 15, choose according to your Judah instinct:
A)15 for 2 Akers, and all goes Joshua Cribbs way.
B)15 for 1, and all goes to Cocker Spaniel Tennis spitballs.
G)15 for Heatley, and this turns into a Bloomington Police Department harassment of Marie Hendrikson investigation.
H)15 for Super Starr, and its time to crush American Idols in the rating department permanently.
V)15 for April is a Sugar push to Puck 16 and suburban 153 trust account and donations for the author and finisher of this hole.
16. This sweet Russian 16 stroke requires a 536 twist of firstfruits. Since the earlier 15 strokes may have you feeling weak, it is now time to convince yourself you are strong. Commanding even one below you is not easy if the subject is unresponsive. Start practicing addressing the dumb by choosing one female salutation for your property known as the ‘golf ball’:
A) Lady Staff of Moses, stay on course!
B) Lady Staff of Birdie, remain 1 under me!
G) Lady Smith of Panthers Past and True, keep me under 92!
D) Prepare for a Woman’s Day Trip to an unknown location!
H) Lower Patmos Sphere of games, you are about to be blessed by correction!
17. Stroke 17 is not only for a genius, but for the Wildcat Anti-burglar in you. Removing strokes from your own score is a form of theft, based on the theory of addition. Remember, increasing your handicap on the next outing may help your team. A simple Kenton Ohio Player line may be used here to break the unjust leader boards of Tiger Woods and Natalie Wood. Try to add a Southern accent to this audible stroke of Penn State:
A) Early Autumn is not a crime, I’d rather find balls and lose a dime.
B) A Funny Valentine is Dave and this stroke may lead me to a Cassidy grave.
G) Love is blue, I am a brown, my Cleveland club just can’t be found.
D) U Conn Cave Mill Kentucky ball, prepare to rise up and to fall.
18. This stroke is for the Moss Green Moss FF troop. In order to avoid double fluoride and lose carbon, a Diamond line must be retained at right hip level. This audible for your playmate (the ball) must be in a still small voice, ideally active:
A) Max Gail forces may land you in a cold water bath. This is allowable by law.
B) If I was Bill Watterson, I could be getting paid for hitting you.
G) I do not have a bat, only a rod that looks like a yod. Take us to some leader board.
H) Rand D, A.J., David mix, how these greens beat a box of Trix!
……Since this is a part time, unpaid ministry course, I am leaving now, but ideally will be back in less than a thousand years.
19. Very few people notice that Steve Yzerman looks like Adam West, so this is actually a big Coke Zero stroke. You may totally miss the point of contact, but choose one penalty stroke anyway:
A) The Pam and Rob Steffans Queen Bee Fast Wanted Key Check Swing Stroke
B) The Tony Frank Gore Shin Guard Railroad Stroke
G) The High Life and Mighty Mouse Excavation Stroke
D) The Saddle Shuchuk Cecil Hall 116 Hollyday Court House Stroke
20. You have made it past the last point of no actual physical contact at 19. You no longer have fear of double digits for your score, which helps your Carbuncle Tom Best Ball game. Call an audible which you believe is better than Omaha Beach Ball:
A)Biffle Sniffle Whiffle Ball
B)Sleeping Policeman’s Ball
G)9Mile High Meat Ball
D)Daytona Beach Melted Ice Ball
21. You finally realize that 21 is actually district2 which is Simeon, not Blackjack. Remember, golf is a decent sport compared to the NFL based on lack of cheerleaders. In order to combat Superman stupidity and athletes thinking they can do anything, learn one of the following silent moves known as ten40:
A) Right hand back and forth flip indicating a Gideon double dew check
B) Invisible table Torah Scroll unrolling from hip to hip level(NUmbers to Joshua, with Deuteronomy(5BLue) your at mid-section)
G) Left pinky finger(5) to lower eye tooth is a reminder of Deuteronomy Chapter 27, verse 12&13 of utmost importance in understanding the role of 50/50 tribe split
H) Right hand going from left elbow to right elbow a couple times as a reminder of the cubit measurements involved in the ark. Chain measurements are for those still in NFL bondage and still performing with simple harlots cheering them on.
22. Some strokes end up with Forte results rather than Julius Thomas err heads. With stroke 22, confidently air one of the following proper David adjustments for a free mental lift:
A) David Obey is a swine from area 51, not my King.
B) A military beast will kill,but a post-sin request for discipline is David.
G) July beats Letterman in a David Ortiz Red Zone.
D) A mantle of Justice beats a wife of Beckham at wise roman V.
23. You are afraid of getting kept out-of-bounds of your mission field due to prophetic utterances at local sports venues. Prepare your defense to remain on the course set before you and avoid penalty of death(spiritual or literal depending on your viewpoint) to those who cast you out:
A) I, like Paul the apostle, have been dispatched to your heathen congregation. Did I break the law or teach it?
B) If I don’t warn you of your error, I get stuck with the burden of your sin, which is heavier than my golf bag.
G) The right to remain silent is not practical to rebuke the non-elder system group that has been in charge here too long.
H) My defense warnings are modest and safe compared to the figure skater’s toe picks and literal attire offense.
24. A Read is not always in the right Reed area. Keep your elder and green read on track by choosing an audible that keeps your Cr scientific legend intact:
A) My Benjamin is Hogan, not Brady or Smith.
B) Adam12 has a better message than professional sports when it comes to valuable stops.
G) A good defensemen or elder tries to prevent sins, including covetousness and adultery, which are more dangerous than a puck or ball in a game.
D) Cal Ripken and Carmen Ruiz matter at Dinah 11Na Green Stone Ephod team.
25. You need a Good Old Holy English transition to get out of Washington quarter mentality for stroke 25. Choose an alternate view of 25:
A) 2Bits for your Alpha company cereal Omega Sharper team
B) Paul Ranheim’s birthday for Badgerskin Perimeter defense
G) Psalm 25 for proper submission and a good 180 return to Moses and real sainthood mentality
D) Lamentations for serious narrow gate thought processes
H) Krivokrasov for true blue 5wise heart
26. Your iron stroke has to be firm, but not deep. Choose a shallow rod of iron to verbalize your anti-6 mentality:
A) I’ve got my ephod squad 12 in mind, not just diamonds.
B) The original hockey 6 could max out at 72 on the ice at the same time, just like the disciples who were sent 2 by 2.
G) Biron beats Dean Martin, but ties Martin St. Louis.
D) My IrON game is good enough at 92 White Panther.
27. You are starting to doubt your courage as a saint or typical holy oddball. In order to literally test the spirits among acquaintances, do one of the following:
A) Do as a prophet did by asking someone to strike you on the cheek, preferably gently. If they comply, they are as a friend of Elijah. If they refuse, keep asking other people until you find one person who is not afraid of prophetic replays. (I did this this morning; a male with ’89’ refused, even after a second request. Our only goalie, a former army ranger named ‘Dan’, complied with my request. He may have transferred his power and authority me without knowing it.)
B) Sit quietly alone for about a half an hour. If that felt like heaven to you, return to normal earth activities so you do not get tied into the ‘prince of the power of the air’ wars.
G) Go to a local adult hockey league and try to identify the players according to stone positions, and do so vocally. Being afraid to do this may disqualify you from understanding ‘come boldly before the throne of grace’, as no hockey player will hurt you for attaching a tribe or stone name to them.
D) intentionally do the opposite of what you want to do, as long as it is not sin. For instance, I went to skate alone at a rink farther away although there was a good group of hockey players at the closer rink. This teaches you to learn what it is like being on a one person squad in a slow district for at least an hour, hopefully longer. Boredom can often lead a weak person to sin, so be cautious on the veenue you choose. If you normally avoid larger competitive groups that are much better than you, go at least once to see what it like to be outnumbered and feel very awkward and insecure.
28. You need to isolate yourself from Denver Bronco thinking at ‘Ball=28’. Using replacement therapy, replace your ball 28 mentally with one of the below:
A) The Blue Kangaroo that is a disciple(Monte Python) and contrary to the Pope.
B) Nickleback coverage and be quick to think like a buffalo, which is but often a target but is very tough as well as Noah’s ark material.
G) About the length of a typical biblical month and about when the moon is dark or new.
D) A District2(Simeon) heads up squad of one. Prepare to avoid sin as well as warn others against it in this very serious mindset.
29. Your copper mentality is weak due to lukewarm water types in your vicinity. Choose a better and different 29 to mentally connect with for a spiritual mental edge:
A) Pittsburgh Skipjack Nedobeck Color Expert
B) Reggie White 92 on the Hebrew Reverse Rutherford read
G) Otic Ganglion (from page 53 of Color atlas of Human anatomy,3rd edition. The ‘gang+lion’ identity of this nose part can remind you of the necessity to have cat -like skills near wolves.)
D) The old testament prophet Joel (not Olsteen)
30. You have now gotten past district 2 and very tough Simeon mentality. At 30, you can choose to continue in either a Lamed fashion or Carbuncle district 3 fashion, but try to stay consistent all the way to ‘stroke’ 39. For your 30th stroke, choose one of the action swings listed below:
A) ‘Invisible’ play action aerosol pump if you have a dry sense of humor. Simply raise your hand and apply the 90 degree rule a couple of times with your index finger, as if pushing an non-aeresol mister. This is considered a carbuncle move, based on the feminine form of the carbuncle.
B) ‘Invisible ‘speed loader movements into your invisible revolver, if you like to play the draw. Benjamin(Lamed) was the youngest, so some child-like play is allowed by law.
G) Invisible putter stroke concentrating on the movement between TIger Eye Jasper(Benjamin) at your right foot to Beryl(Zebulon) at your left foot. This would be a Carbuncle move, as if remembering that sheep enjoy greens.
D) Intentional physical imitation of a bobble head, as a reminder that spring training also requires passover preparation, and let your head shake like a ripe stalk of barley.
There has been a time out called by my team……
Please stand by and remain on earth for a 536 station identification check of systems out of our control……
31. You have made it to 31 without going through Baal, which is 34. Expressions used when blessing your game matter at Proverbs. Choose a female friendly expression for your mixed double ‘check this’ team:
A) I need more torque, not political spin on this Anti-dictator Pavelski Tot.
B) Blackwater well I, exit the state of inertia with grace as I recall the Doobies!
G) Curse your hard Texas heart so that I may get blessed when you go far away and forward!
D) Ag47Smith, I won’t get mad if this stroke whiffs!
H) Ball so white, you might get Brown if the Green ahead is for AJ Clowns (The Bengal Medicine Hat Tiger blessing of Agate)
32. You have realized there is no Quick fix to finishing 13. With only 8 strokes left, its time to remember your oxygen level. Redirect your mind to finish in 8 no more than 8 strokes from now on by exhaling and loudly saying one of these expressions:
A)Just IN case is Isaac Newton,just out case is Cold1,initial big Case is J.I.
B)IN Indiana,IL Illinois, oh MI Michigan,why ME Maine Bear, this stroke may kill a nasty hare.
G)If I try the Ouray Stanz here, I shouldn’t end up with 243.
D)Jonathan Bernier and Far Away team, I might live to take a San Jose Cuervo shot and not kill anyone!
33. You may now apply the amateur rule of ‘No contact, no stroke’, which could possibly get you zero strokes for the hole, thereby lowering your score considerably. Contact is ideal however, so you may now find a real golf ball and test your indoor golf improvisation by choosing one of the below:
A)Tape a thimble to a countertop edge,putt a small marble with your right index finger, trying to get in in the thimble.If you miss, you get exercise recovering the marble and returning it to the counter offering hole attempt.
B)Tape a paper cup to the edge of a middle step in your indoor staircase. Using a plastic practice golf ball, use your real putter from the top landing and try to get the plastic ball in the cup. For every missed putt, you gain exercise in the recovery.
G)Fill your kitchen sink with water. Set a light bowl in it that will float. Using a plastic practice golf ball or a real one, use your thumb and try to reach your brand new ‘Non-17 Island hole’ without landing in the water.
D)If you have an old mattress you do not want to part with because you have joined the Green party, you can turn it into a small indoor green. Simply cut a hole the size of a plastic cup, insert the cup into the mattress, and putt on the mattress. Covering the mattress with a green sheet enhances the effect of real putting on extremely soggy greens. If you get overnight visitors,simply turn the cup upside down so your guest can sleep on the holy mattress; you do not have to blow up any mattresses for your visitor.
34. For this stroke, you must take on an anti-artist move. Artists are a problem, as they divise items that can neither cover you and are inedible in most cases. TO get out or Washington monument mentality, choose a better 34 than BAAL, and call upon the name of a possible hockey angel:
A) Oh Hogan Doerfler Reebok Beer head, let this stroke not leave me here dead.
B) Biron Nelson Classic mixer, let this stroke be like a hockey masters best ball ever!
G) Michael Campbell soupy Noodle, this dog leg left is not a Poodle.
D) Fuzzy Zoeller is no bear, Fuzzy Zoeller has some hair, I think I need a Big Jack up to get back to the Coffey cup!
35. This is the Chevy Classic 4 stroke. You do not have to limit yourself to one stroke here and should say any or all of the following:
A) This is like Rod Weary’s night golf gallery. Is someone holding up a QUIET sign or my FM station?
B) It’s never easy to find a good hole in squad 13’s area.
G) A Top Donut hole sounds excellent about now for the 3D silence Dewey good letter conversion.
D) MIchael Richter tops Howard, not my policeman’s ball.
36. This stroke is as safe as Krypton. You should not need open heart surgery or Lois Lane changes for this exhale Irwin expressive stroke of your choice:
A) Matthieu Roy Wall trips are sometimes very safe for par King Checker fans.
B) Joan, Judy, Phil and Nick, Collins the ref is very slick at the Onyx number 2 hole!
G) Real Motor City Blues, this invisible grass Hebrew roots class is smokeless.
D) At least I won’t have to take a Rutgers65Hendrikson or Wahl3Brown Bear score on this Orange Navel Fruit of the Spirit of Milwaukee hole.
I now have to go and practice my drive before I putt out………….. ideally I will be back in less than 20.83 years.
37. Due to many strokes, a CT check is required, not a CT bill. Choose your best line to indicate a sly 31 Brown Agate Berkley Testing Line:
A) Testing uno, does, Tracer X-outside Strait Gate Take 1
B) Testing Reuben,Simeon, Levi Abel Natural Resources Division Take5 (you end up plus four on this stroke)
G) Testing Hydrogen, Helium, Lithium Air Balloon Shots for the Dead
D) CLarence Thomas, Chris Tancill, this stroke might just break some Will
38. You must now return to understanding the mindset of people who trust shotgun starts instead of shotgun ends. Use on of the best lines to get into the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, Illinois Kocher Grizzlies:
A) I am not splitting hares to get to the Greens, but am not afraid to split a side of beef with my neighbor.
B) I, like Richard Artisan, am just trying to stick to my Ra=88,Marshall Underdog Defense(MUD) team spirit, not Pentagon proud fools.
G) I can play y= squad 10Blue SWAT team with my hockey stick, but Counter39=Y Lashoff Fuhr’s team has to stick with 243’s.
D) Whosoever can handle 13 literal slashes to the back should be brave and Maxwell Smart enough not to salute a national flag,even in a golf game.
39. This is a special Czech Listor stroke, with no compound fractures necessary to get your highest score ever on one hole. As truth matters, speak your final score of 39 in the manner of your choice:
A) Well Water Buffalo Hasek, I finally escaped the I system in Illinois!
B) Well Tip Me Well but don’t Blow me Down, I didn’t even lose Ball 28 on this hole!
G) Howe is it at 9 and 90 Sun angles, but never is Howe with Howell and Wolf on 25. Write down Y for my score, as this was the Alpha Bits hole.
D) Where’s Squad 14 Nuns and John McCarron to lead me to the 153=BRaIN Fish Licencing Tee and Fee Area?
H) I may have lost this last hole and don’t have honors anymore. Who is low and on our side now? Rudolph or Jimmie Walker’s Point Beer representative?
In the spirit of Sh’vat 19, this hole beats murdering people who are as lukewarm toward the Torah as protestant ministers are, including all past, present or future. When days are set aside for the ungodly by unrighteous government systems, it is an abomination to the author and finisher of the original Commandments.
Hole 14 is in construction within my mind, and will be the Greg and Ken hole. Let Keith2 figure out the Jackson hole if he is such a good defensemen.
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